我想你中国: Reverse Culture Shock and Other Fun Things

I can’t believe that I’ve been back in the U.S. for an entire month now. It actually felt like a fairly slow month, as I am really missing China (minus the pollution and food😉).  I’ve been crazy busy with my classes, practicing, volunteering, job search, etc. and with midterms already coming up next week, I felt like I should just send a small update to anyone that kept up with me while on my journey.  Thank you by the way, without the support and encouragement I probably would not have kept a blog, I appreciate the support!

Side note: I still have about 4 more blogs planned, if anyone is interested.  I know that they are very long overdue, but there are still some great memories that I wanted to share with you 😊

It only took me 1 week to get over the jet lag and to stop ‘thinking’ in Chinese.  I miss naturally saying “thank you”, “I’m sorry”, and “can you speak a bit slower” on a daily basis.  I can already tell that my language skills have decreased significantly.  I am worried that by the end of this school year I will have forgotten so much more, especially in my reading and writing abilities.

I also think that I’ve made it out of the honeymoon phase and have entered into the reverse-culture shock stage. It’s great to see my family and friends, but I’ve realized that I have changed and so have they. It’s hard not knowing what all of the inside jokes are about or what everyone’s latest relationships, achievements or struggles are.  Even though I wasn’t here for over 4 months, my friends’ and family’s lives continued on, and I didn’t realize I was going to feel as distant as I do at times.

I also struggle with talking to people about my trip. Because I was gone for such a long time there is no possible way I could ever answer, “How was China?” or “What was your favorite part?”. I feel guilty every time I talk to my friends and classmates about my amazing experiences and opportunities I had while abroad.  I also practice a lot of patience when I get questions that I interpret as being impolite.  I can acknowledge that people are very curious about a non-Western country like China, so I try my best to take every opportunity to teach people about the beautiful culture.  So when I am asked, “Don’t they eat dogs there?” and “Can’t you not even go outside because of the pollution?” or “They don’t use real toilets there right?” I take it as an opportunity to teach cultural acceptance.

Ok, this may be going too deep for a blog post, but if you ask anyone who has been abroad for an extended amount of time, they will tell you that they felt themselves change.  I think that there’s an Anna Mancl who grew up in Wisconsin and loves music and then there is another Anna that has been to China twice and loves helping the children there.  I’ve heard that people feel that they’re not themselves while abroad; however I am beginning to feel that the Anna that resides in China is the ‘real me’ and here I adjust my feelings, priorities, and lifestyle to fit in as just another regular American.  For one of the first times ever I finally felt that my life had a purpose while I was in China.  I loved every volunteering and teaching opportunity I had, and I feel very passionate when it comes to being an advocate for the children, their safety, and their education.  If I only learned one thing while abroad, it’s that I definitely want to be a teacher someday.  While back at North Central College and revisiting the music faculty and my peers, I’ve realized that someday I’ll be a person that loves to teach, and it just so happens that I will teach music (and Chinese too, hopefully), unlike others who are musicians who decide to teach.  All negative thoughts aside, I’m trying my best to adapt back to ‘regular life’ without losing too much of the ‘China-Anna’.

Although all I can think about is, “How can I get a scholarship to spend another summer in China volunteering at the migrant school?” or “How in the world am I going to keep up my already dwindling Chinese skills?” I am trying to stay as positive as I can while living the life of the average American college student.